Round 6...Idol gives back and we give Tim back to Salt Lake City

Hard to rip on this episode seeing as it does great things for many people. Doesn't mean the finalists aren't fair game so don't expect me to be THAT nice!


-Queen Latifah looks FANTASTIC...not sure why Sea-monster started talking ghetto style whenever he encountered someone of color. Odd.

-NOOOOO, I thought we had rid ourselves of Didi and Mexi Gokey for good! The Angels, I mean Idols, enter center stage and sing a song I had never heard as Lee and Niki slow dance. Awkward.

-Commish sheds some tears as Jen Garner does a story on Appalachia and baby Brenda.

-Ryan calls Lee out for being a cry baby....pretty damn funny.

-Fast forward, more tears (this is tough stuff); fast forward; Casey and Aaron at the bottom (duh); back to Queen, fast forward; a duet with a legend and an English floozy; potty break; Mr. Sulu; Morgan Freeman (the man!); yep more damn waterworks about a kid getting dowsed with gas by a FRIEND (seriously???); give props to the inventor of DVR; Octo-mom sighting; Common's fine ass; Carrie Underwood's fine ass (right? she looks great!); Lance Bass, oh, it's Ellen, doing another depressing piece on hunger....I'm going to look like hell tomorrow; Rocky Dennis' piece that is pretty much putting me over the edge, get me a Wellbutrin stat!; rich people talking; fast forward, fast forward; WAIT, is it David Cook??? Rewind, rewind; sings for the kids with a fellow ginger; steals my heart..again..sigh; HOLY HELL, my heart JUST broke in two watching the little 7 year old girl with AIDS; honestly, at this point, who cares who you boot...just do it; WAIT, hold the phone, a happy ending, the little girl is alive and well???; Glacier Cowell shows his sweet side; and finally we are ending this on a happy note; that note being Tim is finally GONE!




Let's recap a night that was easier to mock...

Snow-crest ande the 7 dorks enter the smokey stage...Hottie, Shorty, Tubby, Lucky, Stinky, Muffy, Creepy and Mc-Lovin all look like they are about to wet themselves as the judges stare deeply into their numb-skulls. The wicked witch (Kara) looks like she's just had a shag in the forest with the dashing prince (Ellen), while Randy said "screw it" and gorged himself on an entire apple orchard, not stopping at one as instructed. Simon wants the whole damn "fairytale" over so he can move on to his next classic.



Hottie starts the show with the classic "Don't Stop", exactly what I would like to be saying to Casey in another sort of situation...my apologies, I digress. Another average performance from Jon Benet. He had his harem of whores in the audience, none of them being above a 4; average, just like the performance.


Muff-kin somehow grew that awful mess back over the past 7 days and failed to gain any sort of personality. I don't know if he's in a funk because his Mexican snuggle buddy got booted last week, but I think I would be more entertained by Helen Keller if we were stuck in a room forced to "chat". Thank God he can sing and has the potential to be hot otherwise he would be joining his friend at the Donkey Show.






Lucky may not live up to his name tonight. The blow out and use of Sea-crud's straightener made him look like a ridiculous version of Shirley Jones circa the Partridge days. At this point the great bone structure and blatant Zac Ephron rip-off were not enough to save you tonight . Sayanara sucka!





Mc-Lovin came out doing a song by a man that pissed on 14 year old girls. I don't know if I'd look to R Kelley as an "inspiration" but he was decent.




Creepy went with the Forest Nymph theme tonight. I was waiting for the Navi to come out of the Ituri forest and proclaim "I see you", but leave it to Shioban to prohibit the Navi, Randy, Ryan or a word from the sponsor, get a damn word in edgewise because again, she drags out a 4 minute explanation on why she sucked elephant sack. WE. DON'T. CARE.

I wish I DIDN'T see you.


Tubby stepped up with his guitar which next to him, looks like Don Ho's ukulele. I love Big Mike but he's such a drama king. "We gonna soar tonight", uh, save it for "Glee" buddy, this is a reality show and you sound like you're trying way to hard. The judges smoked him on the song but I actually really liked it. Sounded 100x better than McLovin and The Tree Fairy. Keep Big Mike!!





In typical Idol fashion, the producer's favorite is placed at the end (remember ole' Adam??). Stinky-locks donned a satin potato sack that showed her motherly fun bags, put her hair into an unruly bun of feathers and ended the show with a sob. If that doesn't spell security, I don't know what does. Great to see Gallagher got out of his show at Zanie's to fly to Hollywood to support his toothless songbird.



Thanks for reading...until next week!
-The Commish