-First 5 minutes is an Idol Lovefest. Nothing like watching Mexi and Convict go back to Lee's time in lock-up as they cup one another. All while "Hey Jude" plays softly in the background.
-Next 10, the tan Hobbit making introductions and letting us know that a one hit wonder, an Idol Runner up and Rhianna will all be performing...whoop de doo!
-Yep, another 7 watching a shit crap lip-sync by "the gang", all dressed in go-go boots and black and white color blocks...wow, so retro..I feel like I'm back in Liverpool in the 60's.
-Oh Mr Seacrest Baggins, you got us good...yep, another 10 minutes making us think that one of the girls was leaving "the gang"...You got us good, low and behold, they were all 3 safe. LAME!
-Another 10 spent plugging Kara's amazing fellow "song writer" Jason Da-WHO-lo? I didn't know repeating "In my Head" 20x over constituted great song writing.
-The biggest time burner of 10 minutes? Archie, sans bowl cut, regurgitating his act from the 2008 season. Really? Really?? Let's "Imagine "that you go on your Mormon Mission and "Let it Be" for awhile.
-Ten more minutes drag out for us to learn that AARON KELLY is safe and Big Mike and Taco ARE NOT?? TIM URBAN is safe??? A wrench, I'm in shock
-Two minutes for the Commish to take some deep breaths into a paper bag before continuing this ridiculous re-cap..
-Rhi Rhi you spent 8 minutes sounding like sh*t. An 8 minutes of my life I will never get back. Want to thank you for that.
-The best part of the show are down to the last 3 minutes as Big Mike, YES, BIG MIKE, sings for his life. The Commish is speechless.
-Nope, the best part of the show is the LAST minute when the judges SAVE Big Mike. Bring it back next week big fella!!!
Let's re-cap how this turn of events went down....
Who knew the The Thunderbirds of Rydell High would be judging tonight?? Black Zuko in that ridiculous Letterman's sweater? Please, you lettered in stuffin' your mug and knocking back Maddog under the bleachers...Kinniki Cowell in his tit-tight Tee?...nice headlights...Tune in Tokyo.
-Listening to "No-da" made me wish he'd take that "Long and Winding Road" back to his bog in Dagobah . A little troll you are, but a Jedi, not so much.
-Ok, Katie, you are now in LA, please leave your Jersey "bump it" back home. EVERY week with that same poof is getting as old as Shioban's screeching. Despite your Blossom-esque outfit, you killed it tonight.
-Paco has me terribly confused. I can't quite figure out his "schtick"..One week you remind me of my cousin Joaquin from East LA ...all hood and shiz, and the next week you show up looking like a Mexican Buddy Holly, in other words, this guy....
I DO love me some Big Shirl, but every week I get more jealous of her D cups and 3 carat square cut earrings. Once again, I thought you were great so I don't get "What's Happening" with the votes. Come on, that was a lay-up people.
**Want to thank Black Zuko for the "Glee" plug...momma needs to pay the bills and get herself some of what Shirl's got. Again, "Glee" starts next week, please watch.
I didn't know Crystal came from celebrity pedigree! Her Dad is Gallagher?? Who knew we had the Paris Hilton of Elliston, Ohio on the show!
I still have issue with the lack of teeth and smelly hair ( you know that nest REEKS). I mean, when does she get her new set of chops? I guess once you make the top 5 they know you are going to get signed and they bring in the Extreme Makeover team. Only a few more weeks to go sister...you and Ernie rocked!
Tim, "I'm praying my Zac Ephron hair keeps the girls voting for me", Urban is such a TOOL. NO personality. When EIGHT other people are asked to talk about you and all they discuss are your NON-Crystal Bowersox fangs, that's basically saying you are a complete jack-off. The judges are obviously having guilt issues, they were WAY too generous. Get ready to reunite with Tenille next week.
Kendra was so pretty tonight and I loved her version of "Jealous Man".I'm sorry, I was just wiping the drool off my face, the rest of the flock and I fell asleep when the shepherdess lulled us to sleep with the most BORING renditions of "Across the Universe" that I have EVER heard. I think Enya would have put more life into that performance.
When Simon asks you a question, answer in under 30 seconds, oh and GET OVER YOURSELF...you are annoying as hell.
Mrs. Garcia was great. Mi Gusta Lee-ah.
Well, next week another Idol reject will be mentoring the gang...everyone knows how I feel about Glam-bo so expect next weeks blog to be my most hateful yet.
Signing off,
The Commish
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