IDOL round 3

TGIF fellow Idoler's!!
NO Big Shock this week....the Hog has been roasted!

Before we get started, I must ask, who was the mysterious butterball sitting next to Smokey the whole night? Have you seen this boy???

-Anoop came straight from the Broadway revival of "West Side Story"...what gives with the Danny Zucko letterman jacket Bobby J?? He was smooth but he's getting into that schmaltzy, boring territory that may cost him once the Mormon and Wonka get blown out. He needs to step it up next week...my advice...do "Jai Ho" from "Slumdog" and you will bring the house DOWN!! Jaiiii Hooooooooo!

-Robert Danny Jr. was again consistent. Nice to see they got rid of his blond tips, the Rascal Flats look did him no favors. He may also want to lay off the Idol Cantina, he's looking a thick or they are thinking tit-tight T's are the way to go with this one...wrong.

-Justin is becoming my last years David Cook. He's kinda sexy, he's got mad skills on the keys and he's coming out of nowhere to give The Widower a true run for his money, although judging by last night, I guess America doesn't really agree with me. Maybe it was the fact that his jeans were so tight that the kids got scared of the anaconda it looked like he was hiding in there.

-Prisoner 6181980, the Sleeper, we now know is a straight up pedophile. His wife is the 5th Dugger and can't be a day over 14. He should be ashamed of himself!!
Seriously, what was with that shirt?? I think my uncle Jorge had the same one when he was doing time in San Quinten 15 years ago. It was ridiculous...the good thing for that kid, he's adorable, likeable and can sing. Work on the duds.

-Pebbles was off the charts good. Still wish she would master the art of never speaking and unfortunately she looked like an underage Tijuana hooker last night. Other than that, she rocked.

Everyone over the age of 65 can stop looking, Elvis was alive and well in a shark skin suit kickin' it at the Kodak Theater on Wednesday!! If I shut my eyes I LOVED He-She's performance...I HATE, HATE, HATE having to admit it, but he was my favorite of the night. Despite that fact, I just don't buy his "shtick"..I bet if we saw him 3 months before Idol started he would have been wearing a pair of Dockers and a cardigan from Structure. Who are you?? Are you Trent Reznor, Chris Isaacs, Jonas Brother #4 or on your way into gay porn? Help us out!

I am not a soothsayer, a wizard or a shaman but do I know my Idol, or do I know my IDOL!!??

-Hmmm, took only 3 performances before our girl Lil' Rounds found some hair and I must say plastic hair is NOT what I meant. The whole performance reminded me of the last scene in "What's Love Got to Do with It" when Angela Basset is flailing around singing "Proud Mary" after Ike had just given her a beat down off stage...Lil' Rounds MAY be our biggest upset of the entire competition...many of us have her going all the way but if she keeps this up, I think she'll be out by the top 5.

-Ethel Mormon was AWFUL...once again. WHY does this girl continue to move up through the ranks?? She totally ripped of Carrie Underwood's look from LAST WEEK which looked bad on Carrie so WHY do it again?? The only thing impressive about her is her tattoo artist, who did a wonderful interpiation of the planet Jupiter sailing above, what looked to me, to be the Tower of London on the top of her arm. I've now discovered all I can about your "sleeve" so it's time for you to go back to Provo.

-Now playing at the Kalamazoo Comfort Suites Piano Bar.....WILLYYYYYYYY WOOOONKAAAAA! Good LORD! I am so sick of the pity party everyone throws this guy. Only Simon has enough nuts to call a spade a spade...You SUCK! You are doing this guy NO favors by blowing smoke up his a** about how good he is, when quite frankly, he's not. The Idol stylists have been waiting 8 seasons to have someone willing to wear the salmon colored pants and they finally found their man...the blind guy...that's just CRUEL ladies. It's like when Stevie went through his dashiki phase in the 80's...poor guy had no idea he was wearing a dress that looked like a Cosby sweater.

As we know, the Hog is gone...he gets a little more time off the rig while he tours. Good luck Roughneck!